Clearly, it's been a minute, or two. Sorry about that. First, life called. Then, well, death called. Without completely rehashing the last month (and one day) of my zombie-like numb state-of-mind-and-being, let's just say, life isn't fair. This we've always known, to an extent, but it is ever-so-heightened in the "light of" death. Let me be unambiguous: though I find it extremely hard to find any "light" in death, I do know one thing that I wasn't completely sure of pre-31 days ago. The world is good, and it IS full of love. "Love makes the world go 'round" could not ring more true these days. Just when you have no hope left, when you've lost complete faith in something you previously had only a slim faith in to begin with, when you want to wash your hands of reality and dash with a passion from your new "normal", and when you've developed enough "I just don't understand" wrinkles in your would-be uni-brow to keep any botox office afloat, there comes this pool of undeniably warm-hearted and sympathetic (some, sadly, empathetic) people. Those people, those compassionate and embracing people, they show you that this world IS worth living in, even if it's a world without Pete. When one of those people is the one who is suffering the most and who understands empathy like it's her middle name, you find strength beyond comprehensive. If she can do it (kicking and screaming no less, but she's doing it), I can do it.
Though I've had no desire to blog as of late, a rush of creativity consumed me, itching to ooze out of my fingertips. And while my brush with hair-dye (pun sort of intended) isn't schedule until Sunday (halfway promise to blog the step-by-step process on my road to dip-dyed rainbow heaven), and I glanced at my blog to simply steal the URL for Pinterest (yes, I have just entered into the world of Pinterest...try prying me away from the computer now!), my next challenge, Day 17, screamed at me as if it were fate. FB led me to Pinterest which led me to my blog which led me to Day 17. A challenge that will take your breath away, and then turn around and give you one of those draining sighs that have gotten you through the last 31 days to begin with. Well, those sighs, and yoga, and wine, and those people, they know who they are. So, behold, the challenge that gave me my groove back. Let's see how long I can keep it...
Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently.
While there is no picture for losing Pete, and that is the epitome of a "huge impact" on my life, there is a picture of "those people", and that one person who is persistent at transferring strength from her to me (thank gosh Pete made her tough <3). Though wishing that I could bundle each person into one single picture, that would take a lot of planning, coercing, flights & finances to pull off (even for me, planner extraordinaire), but please know that if you reached out at all, you touched me. Whether through FB, email, a phone call, text, card (snail mail does still exist), a hug, kiss, a donation to Stella's Education Fund or even a simple look that shows your sympathy, you have been one of those people, and without you reality would still be in my rear-view mirror. Thanks for bringing me back.
I call this, "Smile, though your heart is aching" <3
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